It's Saturday, and the pier area is particularly infested with Jesus freaks today.
No offense ... I'm sure he was a good guy and everything, but I don't come to the beach to be told I'm going straight to the hot place if I don't follow the bible in the way you happen to interpret it.
Quite frankly, I bet if Jesus were here right now, he wouldn't be preaching. He'd probably be getting a "strawberry surf rider" at Jamba Juice, then would be hangin' out on the beach getting some rays for a bit.
And I bet he'd go for the fish tacos at Wahoo's.